i will answer that goddamn cliff shag or marry meme. red_squared gave me


cliff: gilderoy lockhart. sorry, the pretty and the money can't cover up the airheadedness and the falseness, and he'd probably call out his own name during sex. enjoy the trip down, sucker! no pic because i can't be assed.

shag: duo maxwell. okay, assuming he's not jailbait any longer (and, well, less anime-looking), i'd totally hit that. the dude is good-looking, funny, friendly and energetic. i bet he could channel that enthusiasm into sex too heero yuy would confirm my assumption. and since it would just be casual sex, i wouldn't have to deal with the trained assassin's FUCKTON OF REPRESSED ISSUES (i mean, for starters, he fancies himself a god of death. that might sound cool at first, but seriously, can you say "fucked up"?). unless i do something wrong like kicking him awake in my sleep and he shoots me with the gun he probably keeps under his pillow. issues, man, issues.

by the way, here's a few pics. he looks more cute than anything, but i can always age him up and de-animize him and he'd go from cute to hawt. ;p








marry: ganon. (well, i'm assuming you meant human ganondorf and not the scary pig-monster version. if not, buddy can join lockhart down there. assuming i can push him off)
we-ell, he might be worse than duo considering that he's not even repressed, he's an out-and-proud evil megalomaniac tyrant (hey, he and voldemort can be bffs and bond over their endless power hunger, being defeated by boy heroes and having impressive, yet ultimately useless henchmen) BUT. since he's going to get killed by link anyway, it wouldn't last for too long. and i can always claim that i was forced or brainwashed into it. :D and he'd probably be too busy killin' and conquerin' to tear me apart with his mammoth cock. i could enjoy the perks of being the queen of evil while it lasts.
besides, as of twilight princess, i've started to find him kinda hot.



i had to fan myself a little in that scene where he's chained to that stone and the sages stab him in the chest with a fucking sword (or maybe it was in the stomach, either way, it was awesome) and i bet he wasn't *that* bad-looking in ocarina of time, the graphics just weren't kind to him. i mean, link is supposed to be hot and they still gave him a schnoz he could use as a replacement if he ever lost his sword.


okay, NOW i'm turning this thing off.