PART ONE!

last time, we left link at lake hylia staring dumbly into space while sheik makes an unnecessarily elaborate escape. later, he arrives to kakariko village...



...and oh noes, it's burning. no idea why, really, the thing in the well couldn't have done it, since it was still, uh, in the well. meh. ~dramatic effect, i suppose.



and again, someone beats him to it. way to help with the fire there, sheik.



link runs toward him and stops right behind him. then stares as his ass a bit.



srs sheik tells his fair maiden to move back to a safe distance. then the wooden thing above the well goes flying and crashes on the ground behind them, and link turns around to see, all surprised-like. which leads to this hilarious cap:



BRAVE LINK, ALWAYS ALERT, ALWAYS LOOKING IN THE FACE OF DANGER.
and then the thing in the well grabs sheik and throws him around like a puppy with a ragdoll. link just... stares some more.



lololololol



LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL



then he lands on the floor and link finally snaps out of it. gotdamn, dat ass. so perky! link just has to get a closer look, as he never though he'd see sheik in that position outside of his wank fantasies. oh, and to check that he's still alive, cause perving on a corpse is just not on.



but his ogling time is cut short because the thing in the well is now coming for him... loving the kickass shadow effect on sheik, by the way...



oooooooooooooooooooooh-----

but then the game cockblocks my chance of getting more hilarious caps by going black when link gets flung around in the air. pfffft.

when link recovers consciousness, he wakes up to the most beautiful sight his eyes have ever seen:



HELLO LOVER~



sheik, how could he not, after being so close to you and your magnificent buttocks for such a prolonged period of time? YES, I AM 12. WHAT OF IT.



but then he resets back to mr personal space and the moment is gone. :|



more music. i begin to wonder if there is some sort of weird sublimation shit going on between them here. by all rights what should have followed the previous scene is a heated i'm-glad-you're-alive makeout session. i know this, because fanfic told me so.



THANK YOU, NINTENDO.



why does link keep making that dumb face, anyway? you'd think he'd be used to it already.



and then, the usual. baaaaahhh fuck you stop running away.


the next time they see each other, link's been told some mystical temple bs that in normal-person talk means he needs to go back in time because if he tries to squeeze his 17-year-old ass through the only available passage, he'll get stuck and starve to death. if he doesn't die of asphyxia first. so he goes back outside wondering how the hell he's supposed to come back as a kid...



OH DEAR, SOMEONE IS CREEPING ON LINK. I WONDER WHO COULD THAT BE?



WHO IS THAT MYSTERIOUS STRANGER WHO CAN PULL OFF JUMPS LIKE THAT WITHOUT BREAKING THEIR LEGS?



OMG, SHEIK??? COLOR ME SURPRISED.



i wonder if he has to memorize this shit before saying it or if it comes to him naturally.



...



gratuitous pretty screencap.

and, ohh, next is one of my favorite scenes.



after the song ends, they just stay there, staring at each other for a while, neither of them moving...



and then-- and i will never forgive myself for not capping that part-- link takes a small step towards sheik, sheik pulls off his freaky nature-controlling powers again, link gets sand in the eyes, and sheik fucking vanishes again.





I COULD CRY.

AND NOW, THEIR LAST MEETING ;^;

after link finally gets done with the temple shit he has to go back to the temple of time because ~someone is waiting for him. so he does.



he realizes that someone is behind him and he turns around ~dramatically.



IT'S SHEIK! AND SHEIK'S ASS!





he talks some more... and then!!



omg! will he finally declare his undying love for link? how much he's wanted him since he first laid eyes on him? how much he wants link to press him against the temple walls, tug that stupid face cover down, find a way to get him out of that ridiculous suit and have his wicked way with him?



...

...

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?



ugh.



ughhhh.



yeah, i bet even link figured that one out already.



wait a second-- what is this--



no, no, it can't be--



.... .....



nooooo



NOOOOO



NOOOOO



NOOOOOOOO



NOOOOOOOO



NOOOOOOOO



NOOOOOOOO



NOOOOOOOO!!!!


IT WAS A CHICK THE WHOLE TIME??? WHAT IS THIS??? UNBELIEVABLE! OMG SO BETRAYED!!! IT WAS ALL A LIE!! HIS LOVE, A LIE!!! HE CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! THIS IS A TRAGEDY!! A TRAVESTY! OH, THE HEARTBREAK! HE WANTS SHEIK BACK, DAMMIT! NOW! WHAT'S HE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS GIRL?!



I MEAN, HE CAN'T EVEN SEE HER ASS UNDER THAT STUPID DRESS!

:'[[[[[[[[[

WHAT A TRAGIC ENDING FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL TALE OF LOVE AND LONGING AND BUTTOCKS! I AM ABSOLUTELY INCONSOLABLE! I WILL CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP FOR WEEKS!! DDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

FUCK YOU, NINTENDO! FUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ;________;